Another two-year-old child died in a hot van. Another family drowned after their car went into a lake. These needless deaths can be prevented.
Frequently we read of a forgotten toddler imprisoned in a hot car with the windows closed, killed slowly but surely. These babies need not die. An easy way of prevention exists if we will just put it to use.
Creativity has been described as a new combination of things already known. Just a little creativity, combining existing electronic elements to make a “Baby Rescue” device can save hundreds of lives in the United States every year.
The usual scenario: A day care worker can’t count, or forgets to count, leaves a toddler asleep on a back seat, and leaves the van in the sun. The child wakes and starts crying. No one hears. The child may try to escape, but no one sees. Modern devices can detect high temperatures and the high pitched cry of a child. Another device can roll down windows. Another can sound an alarm.
These devices could be built and installed in cars and vans at little cost. The Baby Rescue device wouldn’t be 100 per cent effective, because some dying children won’t cry out. But the majority who do cry out would be saved.
People don’t drive into a lake or river deliberately, but such accidents happen. I recall a news article several years ago of a man driving with his wife and children in a rainstorm. He lost his way and drove down a boat ramp and into a swollen river. The family drowned. Evidence showed they tried to get out of the car but couldn’t.
My brother, Gordon Hewitt, parked his car in the driveway of a hurricane-proof house when Hurricane Ike hit Grand Cayman Island. The storm surge swept his BMW car off the driveway, down the street, and into deep water. When he found the car, all the windows had been rolled down. I assume BMW has a safety device that causes the windows to roll down when the car is submerged. Such a device could have saved the family that went into the river, and many others as well.
If BMW can do it, why can’t the other automobile manufacturers?
Women who leave babies in hot cars while they visit bars are not likely to buy a Baby Rescue device. Automobile manufacturers close their eyes and refuse to look at safety devices that will add cost to their products. Seat belts and air bags came into use with pain that hurt car companies like childbirth. So for the children’s sake, there should be laws. Devices to rescue babies from hot cars and families from submerged cars should be installed in each new car, and all existing day care center vans and buses.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Pretending Ancestors were Pure is Pure Fiction
By Joe Hewitt
Vocal Jewish groups don't like it said that “Jews were responsible for the death of Jesus.”
Would the Japanese now like to say they were not responsible for bombing Pearl Harbor and wholesale slaughter of men, women and children in China? Some Germans might like the world to believe the Germans were not responsible for the Holocaust when Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals and Jehovah's Witnesses were rounded up and exterminated. Some white Americans try to make excuses for the 200 years our ancestors enslaved blacks. Of course the Japanese living today can't be blamed for something done by the fanatical leadership that had control of their country during a past generation. Nor can the Germans living today be blamed for actions of long dead Nazis who had control of Germany. White Americans living today should not be blamed for something done by a minority of their ancestors. The same is true about Jews living today; they can't be blamed for something done by fanatical Jewish leaders more than 2,000 years ago.
But let's not pretend it didn’t happen.
Volumes of volumes should count for something. The facts haven't been kept secret. The most published book in history, the Bible, says Jewish leaders insisted that Jesus be crucified. The highest court of Israel, the Sanhedrin, voted for Jesus to die, following the recommendation of the highest official in Judaism, the high priest. Pontius Pilate, the Roman Governor, wanted to release Jesus and wash his hands of the whole affair, but a Jewish mob shouted "Crucify him! Crucify him!"
The Jewish leadership insisted on the Romans doing the dirty work, and the Romans did it at the Sanhedrin, the high priest, and the mob's fanatical insistence. Later on the Jewish leaders got over their shyness about murder and stoned Stephen, a disciple of Jesus Christ, to death because he was preaching about Jesus.
Rabbi Eugene Korn of the Anti-Defamation League, was quoted as saying Mel Gibson's movie on the Passion of Christ relies on "sinister medieval stereotypes, portraying Jews as bloodthirsty, sadistic and money-hungry enemies of God who lack compassion and humanity."
There are sadistic, money-hungry enemies of God who lack compassion and humanity in every ethnic group and culture. Are we to believe that of all the races of people on earth the Jews alone are immune from such flaws?
We can't forever condemn an entire nation for some of their ancestors' past actions, neither the Japanese, Germans, White Americans, Jews, or Romans. However, if something is true, it's true and no amount of whining will change the facts.
To say the Jews were not responsible for Jesus' death is a gross revision of history, and requires the same kind of reasoning employed by shallow thinkers who deny the Holocaust. We have to admit it: Jews crucified Christ; Germans enacted the Holocaust; the Japanese murdered children in China; white people enslaved Negroes.
Some anti-Semites pretend that Jesus was not a Jew. The crucifixion of Jesus is about God’s sacrifice that enables Jew and Gentile to be reconciled to Him. During the persecution of Jesus’ disciples, some of the bad guys were Jews. Most of the Christian victims were Jews.
I and millions of others on this planet believe Mel Gibson's film is true to Scripture. We also believe the Bible that says Israel is God's chosen people. The greatest Gentile defenders of Israel are Evangelical Christians.
The death, burial and resurrection of Christ are not about denigrating a race of people. Rather, it's about goodness and mercy; it's about an innocent one dying willingly for the guilty. In true Christianity there is no difference in races, sexes, or economic class.
-----------------------------------------------------
(Matthew 26:3-4, 59, 65, 66; 27:1-2, 21-25; Acts 6:11-13; 7:57-58)
Vocal Jewish groups don't like it said that “Jews were responsible for the death of Jesus.”
Would the Japanese now like to say they were not responsible for bombing Pearl Harbor and wholesale slaughter of men, women and children in China? Some Germans might like the world to believe the Germans were not responsible for the Holocaust when Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals and Jehovah's Witnesses were rounded up and exterminated. Some white Americans try to make excuses for the 200 years our ancestors enslaved blacks. Of course the Japanese living today can't be blamed for something done by the fanatical leadership that had control of their country during a past generation. Nor can the Germans living today be blamed for actions of long dead Nazis who had control of Germany. White Americans living today should not be blamed for something done by a minority of their ancestors. The same is true about Jews living today; they can't be blamed for something done by fanatical Jewish leaders more than 2,000 years ago.
But let's not pretend it didn’t happen.
Volumes of volumes should count for something. The facts haven't been kept secret. The most published book in history, the Bible, says Jewish leaders insisted that Jesus be crucified. The highest court of Israel, the Sanhedrin, voted for Jesus to die, following the recommendation of the highest official in Judaism, the high priest. Pontius Pilate, the Roman Governor, wanted to release Jesus and wash his hands of the whole affair, but a Jewish mob shouted "Crucify him! Crucify him!"
The Jewish leadership insisted on the Romans doing the dirty work, and the Romans did it at the Sanhedrin, the high priest, and the mob's fanatical insistence. Later on the Jewish leaders got over their shyness about murder and stoned Stephen, a disciple of Jesus Christ, to death because he was preaching about Jesus.
Rabbi Eugene Korn of the Anti-Defamation League, was quoted as saying Mel Gibson's movie on the Passion of Christ relies on "sinister medieval stereotypes, portraying Jews as bloodthirsty, sadistic and money-hungry enemies of God who lack compassion and humanity."
There are sadistic, money-hungry enemies of God who lack compassion and humanity in every ethnic group and culture. Are we to believe that of all the races of people on earth the Jews alone are immune from such flaws?
We can't forever condemn an entire nation for some of their ancestors' past actions, neither the Japanese, Germans, White Americans, Jews, or Romans. However, if something is true, it's true and no amount of whining will change the facts.
To say the Jews were not responsible for Jesus' death is a gross revision of history, and requires the same kind of reasoning employed by shallow thinkers who deny the Holocaust. We have to admit it: Jews crucified Christ; Germans enacted the Holocaust; the Japanese murdered children in China; white people enslaved Negroes.
Some anti-Semites pretend that Jesus was not a Jew. The crucifixion of Jesus is about God’s sacrifice that enables Jew and Gentile to be reconciled to Him. During the persecution of Jesus’ disciples, some of the bad guys were Jews. Most of the Christian victims were Jews.
I and millions of others on this planet believe Mel Gibson's film is true to Scripture. We also believe the Bible that says Israel is God's chosen people. The greatest Gentile defenders of Israel are Evangelical Christians.
The death, burial and resurrection of Christ are not about denigrating a race of people. Rather, it's about goodness and mercy; it's about an innocent one dying willingly for the guilty. In true Christianity there is no difference in races, sexes, or economic class.
-----------------------------------------------------
(Matthew 26:3-4, 59, 65, 66; 27:1-2, 21-25; Acts 6:11-13; 7:57-58)
Cloning Humans
By Joe Hewitt
Originally published in The Dallas Morning News
Sunday, May 19, 2001.
Where is it written, AThou shalt not clone humans@? By what standard is cloning human beings immoral or unethical?
People continue to say there are moral and ethical questions without delineating them. If a majority of people in a democracy vote to outlaw something, they don=t need a moral explanation; they can just do it. Americans well might. But I believe if they do it will be because of a panicked reaction to the unknown rather than for solid, moral or ethical reasons.
Perhaps the real, deep down, fear is that sex will eventually be downplayed. But that, of course, is ridiculous. A society that produces babies without the need of sexual relations exists only in science fiction. If human cloning is perfected and accepted it will be expensive and rare. In vitro fertilization was greeted with the same suspicion, but Atest tube babies@ and their families are doing just fine. Neither in vitro nor cloning would make an artificial human. Both require a mother=s womb.
Granted, there are dangers in human cloning. The whole idea may turn out to be a bust, producing only malformed infants. If so, a ban would be necessary. But, until we find out, outlawing scientific research would be using the same medieval reasoning that nurtured the Dark Ages. So far, only government-funded research is prevented by law.
There is nothing in the Bible to prohibit human cloning. God created. Then He equipped mankind to procreate. With the ability God gave us, we produce children. The soul is God=s department, not ours. Cloning humans is no more immoral or unethical than giving birth to an identical twin, which is a natural clone. None would claim an identical twin to be an artificial entity with no soul.
People get the wrong idea about human cloning. They think the clone emerges full grown from some mystic machine. With successful human cloning, an infertile husband=s wife could bear a son literally just like Dad. The baby would be like Dad=s identical twin but younger.
Some people were ready to forbid organ transplants because of potential unethical practices. Human cloning can proceed with the same ethical safeguards. We are no more Aplaying God@ by utilizing every opportunity to save or enrich human life than we are when we conceive and bear children, or when we use advanced gene therapy.
Our Creator is the maker of moral laws. If God chooses to prevent human cloning, it just won=t happen.
Millions of potentially adoptable American babies are being lost to abortion. Couples yearning for children are spending small fortunes to travel to Russia and other Eastern European countries to adopt. There is a great need in the hearts of these loving couples that can be filled with perfected human cloning. People who desperately want children genetically their own will demand it.
Originally published in The Dallas Morning News
Sunday, May 19, 2001.
Where is it written, AThou shalt not clone humans@? By what standard is cloning human beings immoral or unethical?
People continue to say there are moral and ethical questions without delineating them. If a majority of people in a democracy vote to outlaw something, they don=t need a moral explanation; they can just do it. Americans well might. But I believe if they do it will be because of a panicked reaction to the unknown rather than for solid, moral or ethical reasons.
Perhaps the real, deep down, fear is that sex will eventually be downplayed. But that, of course, is ridiculous. A society that produces babies without the need of sexual relations exists only in science fiction. If human cloning is perfected and accepted it will be expensive and rare. In vitro fertilization was greeted with the same suspicion, but Atest tube babies@ and their families are doing just fine. Neither in vitro nor cloning would make an artificial human. Both require a mother=s womb.
Granted, there are dangers in human cloning. The whole idea may turn out to be a bust, producing only malformed infants. If so, a ban would be necessary. But, until we find out, outlawing scientific research would be using the same medieval reasoning that nurtured the Dark Ages. So far, only government-funded research is prevented by law.
There is nothing in the Bible to prohibit human cloning. God created. Then He equipped mankind to procreate. With the ability God gave us, we produce children. The soul is God=s department, not ours. Cloning humans is no more immoral or unethical than giving birth to an identical twin, which is a natural clone. None would claim an identical twin to be an artificial entity with no soul.
People get the wrong idea about human cloning. They think the clone emerges full grown from some mystic machine. With successful human cloning, an infertile husband=s wife could bear a son literally just like Dad. The baby would be like Dad=s identical twin but younger.
Some people were ready to forbid organ transplants because of potential unethical practices. Human cloning can proceed with the same ethical safeguards. We are no more Aplaying God@ by utilizing every opportunity to save or enrich human life than we are when we conceive and bear children, or when we use advanced gene therapy.
Our Creator is the maker of moral laws. If God chooses to prevent human cloning, it just won=t happen.
Millions of potentially adoptable American babies are being lost to abortion. Couples yearning for children are spending small fortunes to travel to Russia and other Eastern European countries to adopt. There is a great need in the hearts of these loving couples that can be filled with perfected human cloning. People who desperately want children genetically their own will demand it.
The Dying Dollar
By Joe Hewitt
While the federal government is swinging a flyswatter at the fox in the henhouse a big hungry bear is coming in the open kitchen door.
Sub-prime mortgages, credit card debt, bankruptcies, and collapsing financial institutions are bad enough, the fox in the henhouse, but not our main problem. Our main problem is a looming currency crisis.
The dollar is dying.
Gold is now close to $1,000 an ounce. Not that gold is worth a lot more, but that money is worth a lot less. The dollar is losing steadily to the Euro. The Euro was introduced in 2000 on par with the dollar. The Euro reached $1.57. People in Europe and around the world who have been saving dollars will figure it out: Euros are a better investment.
I remember when Saddam Hussein’s stash of money was discovered in a Baghdad bank: large cartons full of U.S. $100 bills. There are other hoards of dollars around the world. I remember visiting Russia in 1996 and exchanging dollars for Rubles. Even in remote Siberia so many dollars were flowing through the system that the Russian currency exchanges had automatic machines to count dollars. Traveling in the Middle East I heard again and again the cry of street peddlers, “One American dollar,” or “Five American dollars.” Throughout Latin America, I have asked the question, “Do you accept dollars?” The answer is usually, “Yes.” U.S. dollars flow through the arteries, veins, and capillaries of commerce around the world.
So when people in these other countries figure out that the dollar is losing its value as fast as a new car, what will they do? They’ll ship them back to the United States where they have the most value and spend them. American real estate sales to foreign companies, already numerous, will multiply. Within a three-month period the amount of currency circulating in the United States could double. Like the run on Bear Stearns stock caused its value to plummet out of control, the rush to send dollars back to the U.S. will gain momentum until it’s a flood. When the money supply in the U.S. doubles, guess what will happen to prices. Four-dollar-a-gallon gasoline hurts. Eight-dollar-a-gallon gasoline will hurt worse. How about a seven-dollar loaf of bread, and a nine-dollar gallon of milk?
Like Richard Nixon’s futile attempts to stop double digit inflation in the Seventies, the federal government will probably institute price controls with the same results, accelerated inflation.
When the tons of dollars flood into the United States we could do as other countries have done when their currency becomes worthless: just chop off some zeroes and print more money. Call it “New Dollars.”
No matter how well you dress it, a dead dollar is just a piece of paper. We got started with printing press money because we were desperate during the Great Depression. President Franklin D. Roosevelt instituted a giant devaluation when we went off the gold standard. Gold went from $20 an ounce to $35 an ounce. Two generations later, President Lyndon B. Johnson did away with the silver standard, and soon gold was $350 an ounce.
Now we’re on the paper standard.
The big hungry bear is coming through the open kitchen door, and the fox is still in the henhouse. What do we do? Maybe government can do something. I hope so. I’m afraid nature will take its course and our country will suffer a major economic collapse that will spread like a tsunami around the world.
-------------------------------------------------------
While the federal government is swinging a flyswatter at the fox in the henhouse a big hungry bear is coming in the open kitchen door.
Sub-prime mortgages, credit card debt, bankruptcies, and collapsing financial institutions are bad enough, the fox in the henhouse, but not our main problem. Our main problem is a looming currency crisis.
The dollar is dying.
Gold is now close to $1,000 an ounce. Not that gold is worth a lot more, but that money is worth a lot less. The dollar is losing steadily to the Euro. The Euro was introduced in 2000 on par with the dollar. The Euro reached $1.57. People in Europe and around the world who have been saving dollars will figure it out: Euros are a better investment.
I remember when Saddam Hussein’s stash of money was discovered in a Baghdad bank: large cartons full of U.S. $100 bills. There are other hoards of dollars around the world. I remember visiting Russia in 1996 and exchanging dollars for Rubles. Even in remote Siberia so many dollars were flowing through the system that the Russian currency exchanges had automatic machines to count dollars. Traveling in the Middle East I heard again and again the cry of street peddlers, “One American dollar,” or “Five American dollars.” Throughout Latin America, I have asked the question, “Do you accept dollars?” The answer is usually, “Yes.” U.S. dollars flow through the arteries, veins, and capillaries of commerce around the world.
So when people in these other countries figure out that the dollar is losing its value as fast as a new car, what will they do? They’ll ship them back to the United States where they have the most value and spend them. American real estate sales to foreign companies, already numerous, will multiply. Within a three-month period the amount of currency circulating in the United States could double. Like the run on Bear Stearns stock caused its value to plummet out of control, the rush to send dollars back to the U.S. will gain momentum until it’s a flood. When the money supply in the U.S. doubles, guess what will happen to prices. Four-dollar-a-gallon gasoline hurts. Eight-dollar-a-gallon gasoline will hurt worse. How about a seven-dollar loaf of bread, and a nine-dollar gallon of milk?
Like Richard Nixon’s futile attempts to stop double digit inflation in the Seventies, the federal government will probably institute price controls with the same results, accelerated inflation.
When the tons of dollars flood into the United States we could do as other countries have done when their currency becomes worthless: just chop off some zeroes and print more money. Call it “New Dollars.”
No matter how well you dress it, a dead dollar is just a piece of paper. We got started with printing press money because we were desperate during the Great Depression. President Franklin D. Roosevelt instituted a giant devaluation when we went off the gold standard. Gold went from $20 an ounce to $35 an ounce. Two generations later, President Lyndon B. Johnson did away with the silver standard, and soon gold was $350 an ounce.
Now we’re on the paper standard.
The big hungry bear is coming through the open kitchen door, and the fox is still in the henhouse. What do we do? Maybe government can do something. I hope so. I’m afraid nature will take its course and our country will suffer a major economic collapse that will spread like a tsunami around the world.
-------------------------------------------------------
Friday, August 27, 2010
We have "Peronists" in the US too
We Have Peronists in the US too
Argentines are still sucking on the pacifier Juan Peron gave them in 1946. All they get out of it is frustration. But they still believe the Peronist promises and remain suckers, left with debts and piles of printing press money.
The disastrous snowball Peron started rolling with promises of something for nothing has left Argentina billions in debt and still sinking. In spite of the Peronist’s track record, voters continue returning them to office.
Peronist-to-the-bone President Carlos Menem had brief encounters with reality when he tried to privatize businesses such as the money-losing national telephone company. His constituents failed their painful course in cause-and-effect. Feather-bedded employees, rewarded with jobs from the political pork barrel, with no expertise and nothing to do, didn=t want to give up their cushy jobs. Like others before his, the inflation morass swallowed Menem=s administration.
Peronist, Nestor Kirchner apparently supposed printing press money would work this time when it never worked before? Then his wife, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner succeded him and continued with the printing press money mentality.
The United States has its share of Peronists. They don=t call themselves Peronists, but their philosophy is the same. Get the vote by promising the descamisados, Ashirtless ones,@ or in North American parlance, Athe little man,@ a better cut out of the national pie. ATax and spend, penalize the producers. Look not to productivity but to government handouts for a better life.@ And who pays for it? AWhy, the government. They have lots of money, and can print more.@
Fortunately the North American Peronists are much in the minority. Everyone doesn=t believe their divide-and-conquer slogans, such as AWe=re for the little man. We=re for the old folks. We=ll keep the opposition from destroying Social Security. We=re fighting poverty. How can the richest nation in the world still have poor people?@ Like Juan Peron and his ilk, they are either political opportunists who want power at any price or sincere liberals out of touch with reality.
I suggest a good lesson in cause-and-effect. Look at Argentina. Argentina has been a great nation. The country has a climate and natural resources, much like the United States. The Peronist political philosophy continues to drag it down like a panicky horse in quicksand.
Look at Great Britain and its declining pound sterling. I remember when it was worth around $5.00. Then for a long time it was worth around $3.50. Now it=s more like $1.50.
Look at Canada and its declining dollar. I remember when it took $1.10 US to buy one Canadian dollar. Now it=s more like 75 cents.
The US dollar has continued to depreciate at the same time, so these currencies= fall is accelerated. Why? What have these great nations done differently? They have given in to the urge to have the government take care of everyone for life, provide medical care for all, and a regular government check for those who don=t work.
I met a 27-year-old man in England who had never held a job. He was big, strong, healthy, and intelligent. The government had helped him get a job several times. Each time he got sick at his stomach and couldn=t work. As soon as the job was terminated, he got well. The government declared him disabled, so he lives on the dole.
Our “Peronist” politicians encourage that way of life here.
Argentines are still sucking on the pacifier Juan Peron gave them in 1946. All they get out of it is frustration. But they still believe the Peronist promises and remain suckers, left with debts and piles of printing press money.
The disastrous snowball Peron started rolling with promises of something for nothing has left Argentina billions in debt and still sinking. In spite of the Peronist’s track record, voters continue returning them to office.
Peronist-to-the-bone President Carlos Menem had brief encounters with reality when he tried to privatize businesses such as the money-losing national telephone company. His constituents failed their painful course in cause-and-effect. Feather-bedded employees, rewarded with jobs from the political pork barrel, with no expertise and nothing to do, didn=t want to give up their cushy jobs. Like others before his, the inflation morass swallowed Menem=s administration.
Peronist, Nestor Kirchner apparently supposed printing press money would work this time when it never worked before? Then his wife, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner succeded him and continued with the printing press money mentality.
The United States has its share of Peronists. They don=t call themselves Peronists, but their philosophy is the same. Get the vote by promising the descamisados, Ashirtless ones,@ or in North American parlance, Athe little man,@ a better cut out of the national pie. ATax and spend, penalize the producers. Look not to productivity but to government handouts for a better life.@ And who pays for it? AWhy, the government. They have lots of money, and can print more.@
Fortunately the North American Peronists are much in the minority. Everyone doesn=t believe their divide-and-conquer slogans, such as AWe=re for the little man. We=re for the old folks. We=ll keep the opposition from destroying Social Security. We=re fighting poverty. How can the richest nation in the world still have poor people?@ Like Juan Peron and his ilk, they are either political opportunists who want power at any price or sincere liberals out of touch with reality.
I suggest a good lesson in cause-and-effect. Look at Argentina. Argentina has been a great nation. The country has a climate and natural resources, much like the United States. The Peronist political philosophy continues to drag it down like a panicky horse in quicksand.
Look at Great Britain and its declining pound sterling. I remember when it was worth around $5.00. Then for a long time it was worth around $3.50. Now it=s more like $1.50.
Look at Canada and its declining dollar. I remember when it took $1.10 US to buy one Canadian dollar. Now it=s more like 75 cents.
The US dollar has continued to depreciate at the same time, so these currencies= fall is accelerated. Why? What have these great nations done differently? They have given in to the urge to have the government take care of everyone for life, provide medical care for all, and a regular government check for those who don=t work.
I met a 27-year-old man in England who had never held a job. He was big, strong, healthy, and intelligent. The government had helped him get a job several times. Each time he got sick at his stomach and couldn=t work. As soon as the job was terminated, he got well. The government declared him disabled, so he lives on the dole.
Our “Peronist” politicians encourage that way of life here.
The Baptist Tent
An Allegorical Explanation of the Different Kinds of Baptists
By Joe Hewitt
All Christian denominations live in tents. However, some, such as Roman Catholics and Churches of Christ, consider all those not in their particular tents to be outside in the heat and cold just pretending to be under a tent.
The Baptists have one of the largest tents, which they have cut up and divided into several smaller tents:
The Allegorist Tent is filled with people who especially can’t tolerate intolerance. Allegorists believe that Old Testament accounts of Creation and the Fall of Man are just stories to help primitive people grasp the greatness of God. They explain away miracles as natural phenomenon or legend. Allegorists call themselves moderates. Some call themselves liberals, and others call themselves conservatives. People who disagree with the Allegorist position they call intolerant, fundamentalists, or Calvinists.
Allegorists avoid talking about allegory. Rather if asked, they will proclaim that they believe the Bible and every word Jesus Christ said, although some on the fringe of the tent like to pick and choose, and themselves determine what He actually said.
The Allegorists’ prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The Literalist Tent is much larger. They believe the Bible is literally true, but there are exceptions that allow for allegory in the Parables and in certain prophecies, especially in the Book of Revelation. They believe God created everything in six days, but differ on the definition of “day.” They believe the miracles actually happened as the Bible says. Literalists call themselves conservatives and can’t say the word liberal without turning down the corners of their mouths. Literalists suspect anyone who calls himself a moderate to be at best a closet liberal.
The Literalist’s prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The Fundamentalist Tent is divided into two sections, the Capital F Fundamentalist, and the little f fundamentalist.
The little f group move freely in and out of the Literalist Tent. They say they are fundamentalists in the sense that they believe in the fundamentals of the faith, rather than being in a fundamentalist tent per se. They believe pretty much the same as the Literalists, but like the Pharisees of old, believe a few laws are good; many laws are better. Some on the fringe of the tent worry constantly about how women dress and fix their hair.
The Big F group stay pretty much in the center of their tent and keep check on one another to be sure they don’t deviate in their beliefs. If any deviation should be detected one is liable to be called a Southern Baptist, which is considered almost as bad as being a liberal. They major on women’s clothing, makeup and coiffures. If a woman wears pants she’s trying to dress like a man, which is a sin. If a girl wears shorts, she is sinning almost as badly as a wife who won’t obey her husband, or a deacon who drinks wine.
The Fundamentalist’s Prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The Dictators Tent is filled with people who believe every word in the Bible is not only inspired by God but that every word was personally dictated by God. This tent is so tiny that everyone in it is on the fringe.
The Dictators’ prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The King James Tent is likewise tiny. People in it claim the only reliable Bible is the King James translation of 1611. Of course they can’t read its archaic language. They read the revision of 1769 and consider it the only reliable Bible. When asked to choose between a passage in the original Greek that has shades of meaning different from the KJV, they will choose the translation over the original. They venture in and out of the Big F Fundamentalist tent on occasion.
This is the only Baptist group that requires those who enter their tent to check their brains at the door.
The King James Group’s prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The Fatalists’ Tent is small and filled with people who are a lot like inert gas, practically invisible, odorless, and tasteless. They stay quiet. Especially they don’t do missionary work. They believe they were elected to salvation before the foundation of the world and others were doomed to Hell with no possibility of salvation. Everything that happens was preordained. If you are a rotten drunkard who beats his wife and starves his kids, you aren’t to blame. It was all preordained.
The Fatalists’s prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. To Hell with those other people.
_____________________________________________________________________________
By Joe Hewitt
All Christian denominations live in tents. However, some, such as Roman Catholics and Churches of Christ, consider all those not in their particular tents to be outside in the heat and cold just pretending to be under a tent.
The Baptists have one of the largest tents, which they have cut up and divided into several smaller tents:
The Allegorist Tent is filled with people who especially can’t tolerate intolerance. Allegorists believe that Old Testament accounts of Creation and the Fall of Man are just stories to help primitive people grasp the greatness of God. They explain away miracles as natural phenomenon or legend. Allegorists call themselves moderates. Some call themselves liberals, and others call themselves conservatives. People who disagree with the Allegorist position they call intolerant, fundamentalists, or Calvinists.
Allegorists avoid talking about allegory. Rather if asked, they will proclaim that they believe the Bible and every word Jesus Christ said, although some on the fringe of the tent like to pick and choose, and themselves determine what He actually said.
The Allegorists’ prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The Literalist Tent is much larger. They believe the Bible is literally true, but there are exceptions that allow for allegory in the Parables and in certain prophecies, especially in the Book of Revelation. They believe God created everything in six days, but differ on the definition of “day.” They believe the miracles actually happened as the Bible says. Literalists call themselves conservatives and can’t say the word liberal without turning down the corners of their mouths. Literalists suspect anyone who calls himself a moderate to be at best a closet liberal.
The Literalist’s prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The Fundamentalist Tent is divided into two sections, the Capital F Fundamentalist, and the little f fundamentalist.
The little f group move freely in and out of the Literalist Tent. They say they are fundamentalists in the sense that they believe in the fundamentals of the faith, rather than being in a fundamentalist tent per se. They believe pretty much the same as the Literalists, but like the Pharisees of old, believe a few laws are good; many laws are better. Some on the fringe of the tent worry constantly about how women dress and fix their hair.
The Big F group stay pretty much in the center of their tent and keep check on one another to be sure they don’t deviate in their beliefs. If any deviation should be detected one is liable to be called a Southern Baptist, which is considered almost as bad as being a liberal. They major on women’s clothing, makeup and coiffures. If a woman wears pants she’s trying to dress like a man, which is a sin. If a girl wears shorts, she is sinning almost as badly as a wife who won’t obey her husband, or a deacon who drinks wine.
The Fundamentalist’s Prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The Dictators Tent is filled with people who believe every word in the Bible is not only inspired by God but that every word was personally dictated by God. This tent is so tiny that everyone in it is on the fringe.
The Dictators’ prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The King James Tent is likewise tiny. People in it claim the only reliable Bible is the King James translation of 1611. Of course they can’t read its archaic language. They read the revision of 1769 and consider it the only reliable Bible. When asked to choose between a passage in the original Greek that has shades of meaning different from the KJV, they will choose the translation over the original. They venture in and out of the Big F Fundamentalist tent on occasion.
This is the only Baptist group that requires those who enter their tent to check their brains at the door.
The King James Group’s prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. We pray those other people would be as enlightened as we are so we can enlarge our tent and invite them in.
The Fatalists’ Tent is small and filled with people who are a lot like inert gas, practically invisible, odorless, and tasteless. They stay quiet. Especially they don’t do missionary work. They believe they were elected to salvation before the foundation of the world and others were doomed to Hell with no possibility of salvation. Everything that happens was preordained. If you are a rotten drunkard who beats his wife and starves his kids, you aren’t to blame. It was all preordained.
The Fatalists’s prayer: Lord we thank you that we have the truth. To Hell with those other people.
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